Can I ask you guys a question?

I've finally found the right story for me to write. The idea was actually one that randomly came to me a few years ago, and one that I had jotted down in a notebook. It wasn't time for me to write it then. I knew that. Now; however, is the perfect time.

Anyways, to the point of this entry: The idea that this story is centered around is death--the physical act of dying, the thought of it, and coming to terms/maybe actually being okay with it someday. (For anyone that knows me, this comes as no shocker. They're probably rolling their eyes and laughing at me as they read this.) I find myself consumed with never ending thoughts and fear when I think that some day I won't be here anymore--and you, reading this, you won't be here anymore. And that TERRIFIES me. But that's just me. I know other people who are totally fine with the idea. They tell me they would be fine if they died today.

But would they really?

Would YOU?

What are your thoughts on the topic? Do you fear death? Are you okay with the idea of it?

(Sorry this post is so morbid. I promise the next will be happy.)
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Doggy Tales

A week ago, I was planning on adopting a dog from the humane society.

Long story short is this:

My mom is allergic to dogs, so we have a miniature schnauzer family dog (Miniature schnauzers are hypoallergenic dogs. They have hair, not fur, so my mom doesn't have to worry about having allergy issues around them.) The dog I was planning on adopting is not hypoallergenic, and while I am not living with my mom anymore and have my own apartment, I have to respect that when I come home for christmas, I cannot bring an animal to her house that she is allergic to. I couldn't adopt the dog. BUT I have a friend at college who was looking into adopting a dog, and decided to take in the one I could no longer adopt. I talked to my sister, who is at Johnson & Wales this semester (Meep!) and can't have dogs in the dorm, who FINALLY decided I could take Jake (the family dog) up to my apartment.



Look at that face.

He loves cuddle time with mommy.

Now, I am in Charlotte for the weekend, visiting family and picking up the little bear.

Also, because this entire post is about dogs, guess who finally got a new puppy?!

YES! Peter, who lost his sweet Sadie dog in early July, has gotten a new little addition to his family. Her name is Sophie, and I'm off to meet her as soon as I finish writing this.

I hope you all have a lovely Saturday, filled with laughter and many, many smiles.

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Friday Five!

1. As of tomorrow, I have officially been living in my apartment for a MONTH. I can't believe it's been so long already. It literally feels like I've been here for a week (maybe two). I love it here so much. I have the best roommate in the entire world, babycakes91.

Some photos:

I have a REAL bookshelf now! MEEP!

The new bedspread.

My desk area (and handy dandy map!).

2. My little sister started school at JOHNSON & WALES this week! I am so proud of her. I sent her a care package, full of fun things I thought she would need. AKA I sent her a box full of coloring books, Scooby Doo snacks, a Dream Catcher, some sexy underwear, giraffe/cow erasers, etc. If it was anyone else, they would have been horrified. But my little Amesie? She loved it all.

3. JoNoWriMo starts next week and... I AM SO EXCITED OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

Okay, I'm good.


This will be my third year of JoNo. I am entirely in love with the community.

4. Tuesday night, the girls who live above us decided to do their laundry. Apparently they had never cleaned the dryer vent. Everybody guess what happened??

Their apartment started smoking and caught on fire.

We heard people running around outside, and then a girl yell, "I called 911!" A police was banging on everyone's doors telling us to evacuate about a minute or two later.

I ran outside after Kate, who was already heading down the stairs, when I saw the girl next door. She was holding her pit-bull and trying to lock her door, an already lost battle. I offered to lock her door for her, and in doing so made a new friend. Meanwhile, Kate was freaking out at the bottom of the stairs, screaming at me to hurry up.

We waited outside for two hours before a fireman came out and called our apartment number. We followed them into our apartment and saw that we have some water damage in our laundry room and the entire place smelled like smoke. Other than that, we were all right. I am so grateful. It could have been so much worse. We're still waiting on management to come up and deal with the water damage.

5. I went to the doctor's yesterday and found out that I have Perry Patella Inflamation (which is basically just inflammation around the knee). I'm really upset, because I can't run or bike (I was supposed to be biking 27 miles for breast cancer next month and have to back out now), but am glad it's not worse for the time being. The doctor gave me some anti-inflammatory meds and told me if it's not gone in three weeks to come back and that I'll have to get an X-ray. Merrrr...

I'm still smiling, though!

No worries!

Happy Friday, loves.


My younger sister has had cancer four times.

When she was three, she was diagnosed with ALL (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia). This time, she went through chemotherapy.

When she was four, she relapsed. This time, she went through radiation, chemotherapy, and had a bone-marrow transplant. (Interesting fact: my brother was the donor. This sort of thing RARELY happens.)

When she was 15 (and just a few days before her 10 year cancer free birthday), the doctors found a cancerous tumor in her neck. The doctors believed it was a secondary cancer that had resulted from treatments she had received to cure her the first two times. This time, she had surgery and they removed her facial nerve, leaving half of her face paralyzed. After the surgery she went through radiation treatments.

Earlier this summer, Amesie discovered the skin cancer on her head. This time, she had a minor surgery to remove it.

Now, the bone on the side of her face where she had surgery is gone. The radiation killed it. Her ear and neck are infected/inflamed. The doctors put her on antibiotics for three weeks. STRONG antibiotics. They didn't work.

Today, Amy started oxygen treatments. She will be going every day for two hours (I believe it is somewhere around 20 treatments). She wants to finish before school starts in the fall.

She is going to Johnson and Wales.

And I couldn't be prouder.

I am praying the oxygen treatments work, because, if they don't, she'll have to get surgery again.

Here's my little bear. She turned 19 this summer.

She is my hero.

Secrets, and PEARL by Jo Knowles


We all have them.

The quiet girl in the back of the room is desperately trying to find a way out of this world.
The woman with the thick layer of makeup and long sleeved shirts comes home to her husband's fist night after night.
The loud boy laughing harder than anyone else in the room just wants someone to love him.
The old man missing a tooth never had a childhood, because his father decided to teach him what "being a man" in this world was.

And they all--we all--keep quiet.

But why?

If we would just tell someone--anyone--we might feel better.

And maybe we wouldn't feel so alone.

I finished reading PEARL by Jo Knowles last night.

I fell in love with every single one of the characters. They were all so real, and even though a few of them frustrated me, I understood them better once I found out the secrets they were hiding.

I can't help but wonder if Bean's life would have turned out completely different if someone had just told another someone the truth.

Sure, it would have been tough. Probably one of the hardest things that character would ever do, but then that person would be set free.

I connected with Bean on so many levels.

I cried when I finished the book.

I am going to read it again soon.
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Saturday Six (With Lots of Pictures)!

1. Raise your hand if you saw Harry Potter! *raises hand* I went with friends to the midnight showing and when I was in line for popcorn I saw this kid to my left:

Does he not look exactly like Harry Potter? I might have freaked out just a little...

2. I went to Barnes & Noble today and wandered into the kiddie section with Keslie, where we found THESE:

Tell me you're not jealous.

Ahhh! They're just so cute!

3. Also at the mall, I found Keslie a turtle necklace! Look how happy she is.

Kes is totally and completely obsessed with turtles. No, really. The background on her computer is a turtle eating a strawberry. So cute! I must admit. Did you guys know it's illegal to both buy and own turtles in NC? We didn't until a few days ago when Keslie went to Petsmart and asked if they had any.

4. Kate is visiting this weekend! Kate was my suite mate this past school year and this year we are getting an apartment together! SQUEE! Reunion!

5. I am reading Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins right now. Have you guys read The Hunger Games series? What do you think? I am so totally falling in love!

6. Because you know I can't go one day without posting a picture of my dog. :-)

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What Makes You Happy?

I took Jake out for a run at 7 this morning. While I listened to my iPod and concentrated on my breathing, Jake smelled as many blades of grass as he could. And while Jake would pick up a stick to carry with him, I laughed.

The wind on my face and the rhythm of the music and the pounding of my heart and the smile on my dog's face all kept me going.

And I felt so. alive.

Running makes me happy. Always has.

So does this face:

What makes you happy?

Goodbye, Sweet Sadie Beasley

My mother is engaged to the most amazing man in the world: Peter.

Last night, Peter's dog Sadie passed away. She was 17 and had lung cancer.

Sadie was Peter's child, and she was one of the sweetest and cuddliest and cutest dogs I have ever known.

I spent the night over at Peter's last night, talking to him and crying with him.

It still doesn't feel real.

Goodbye, sweet Sadie Beasley. We are all going to miss you.
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As of lately, I am a tad bit obsessed with one app in particular on my iPodtouch(me). Words With Friends (AKA Scrabble). I have a game going with a few of my friends and now one with my sister as well. We stayed up late last night playing, even though Ames was really tired. I love watching Ames play--she's never been a very confident speller/reader, so I'm hoping that in playing this game it will help.

And hey, we're having FUN!

I think my favorite part is when each person only has, like, 2 letters left and you have to search and search and search for a perfect spot for that Q or X.

Are any of you secret Scrabbleholics?

If so, raise your hand and say, "AY!"

Happy Independence Day, everyone!
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